The worth of being needed - "Worth is not claimed. it is lived"

This year began with encounters that felt less like meetings and more like quiet invitations to look at life differently. I met people who taught me not through instruction, but through the way they lived. One such experience took me to Cherai, a small coastal town in Kerala, where I attended the Master Practitioner program in Neuro Linguistic Programming with Sue Knight and R Ramesh Prasad. What I didn’t expect was that some of the deepest learning would happen outside the classroom.

I stayed at a comfy homestay by the sea, run by Mrs. Iris—an 87-year-old woman whose presence itself felt like a lesson in life. When we first spoke, she mentioned she was a retired teacher. As the days passed, it became clear that teaching had never really left her. 𝐒𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝𝐧’𝐭 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬; 𝐬𝐡𝐞 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐭𝐚𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞. Even now, simply being around her felt like being in the presence of wisdom—unannounced, unassuming, and deeply grounding.

She is a wonderful cook, and an even more beautiful human being. The way she serves food feels instinctively maternal—like a mother feeding her child. There is no rush, no performance. Just care. Every morning, she prepared breakfast and then sat with us, watching quietly, making sure we ate well. Those moments were simple, yet full—filled with warmth, stories, and a kind of kindness that doesn’t seek attention.

One day, during a calm, unhurried conversation, she said something that I’ve carried with me ever since. 

“I receive a monthly pension and could live peacefully with that. But I choose to run this place for the people who work here. They need me to feed their families. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭—𝐈 𝐧𝐞𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦. 𝐓𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐮𝐩 𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐡 𝐝𝐚𝐲.”

Her words landed gently, but they stirred something deep within me.

In that moment, I realised how closely self-worth is tied to meaning—not the kind we chase or define, but the kind we live. 

The quiet knowing that you matter. 

That your presence counts. 

That you are needed.

What gives our days life doesn’t always come from big dreams or bold achievements. Sometimes, it comes from showing up. From contributing. From being needed. From knowing that your life makes a difference in another person’s life—every single day.

Mrs. Iris lives this truth.

At 87.

With grace.

With dignity.

With a deep, steady sense of self-worth.

She didn’t speak about purpose as an idea.

She embodied it as a way of being.

Thank you Mrs. Iris. 

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐞 𝐚𝐜𝐜𝐮𝐦𝐮𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐛𝐲 𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫.

What I am modelling from her

From Mrs. Iris, I am choosing to live my worth—not by what I achieve, but by how I show up.

I find myself practising this in small ways - by being more present with people, offering care without urgency, choosing to contribute where I can and reminding myself that being needed is not a burden, but a quiet source of meaning.

A reflection for you

Where in your life are you already needed—but perhaps overlooking it?

What shifts when you stop chasing worth and begin to live it?

And who becomes your world when you choose to show up for them, every day?